Have you seen this?

Spam Singles

I was walking down the canned meat aisle the other day, when I noticed a shipper full of these things. I don’t think Spam is a product that really takes itself seriously. But how can it? I mean look at it. It’s actually used as a derogatory term among computer users. It is, for all intents and purposes, the butt of the entire canned meat aisle. The other canned meats will look at the Spam and laugh. The canned tuna will point and snicker. The canned chili looks over in disdain. Even the Vienna Sausages make jokes behind Spam’s back. The only canned meat that takes more crap than Spam itself would be Spam’s loser, unemployed, toothless cousin, Treet.

There’s a name that is a misnomer, if I’ve ever heard one.

Truth is, I’ve never had Spam. I’ve never tried it, and I don’t think anyone I know has had Spam at all, much less is a regular buyer of the stuff. So the question I had while looking at this new Spam Single is, “who buys this stuff?” I mean, they have been in business since World War I, when their product was used both as sustinance and ammunition. Come to think of it, in all my years as a checklane monkey, I only remember someone buying Spam once or twice.

Well, all of this stuff is going through my head while I’m reading the back of this horrible, squishy, packaged ham product, when out of the corner of my eye, this lady walks up to me and stands too close for comfort.

“What is that?” she asks me.

“It’s a ‘Spam Single’… I guess it’s a slice of Spam in a package,” I responded, with a grin overtaking my face. I looked over at the lady, expecting some sort of snide comment from her about this new offering from a brand that is basically the abused, smelly, 3-legged kitten of the grocery world.

“That’s… that’s actually a really great idea!” she said with a smile. Then she picked up six whole packages of the stuff. I walked back upstairs, actually feeling bad for this woman.

No one should be that excited about single serving pork products.

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