I know that a dandelion's sole purpose in the life is to reproduce and spread its seeds as far and wide as it can before it is chopped to shreds by a lawnmower. The dandelions in my yard (and all of their offspring) are leading quite productive lives. My entire yard is full of dandelions. When you look at my lawn, you don't see green as much as you see that puffy white cloud of dandelion tops hovering over my lawn. The worst part is how quickly they grow. I mowed the grass a few days ago, and the next day the lawn was covered with them. And you have to mow them down… which I realise only further spreads the seeds, but if you don't, they turn into those monster dandelions that have the spiky leaves that could actually amputate a finger if you're not careful. If someone came up to me and offered me a superpower, depending on the day, I might just say, "I'd like the ability to rid my lawn of dandelions with my mind."

And then I'd probably kick myself for not thinking clearly. I mean, if someone offered you a superpower, what would it be? You really should think this over now, so that if someone ever does come up to you and offers you a superpower, you won't just blurt out an easy solution to whatever you are dealing with at the time. You really don't want to say something like, "I'd like the power to give myself a shower just by thinking about it," or "I would like to be able to make the trash take itself out," or "I'd like the power to make telemarketers hang up on me." You just don't want to waste your one shot like that. So it's very important to think of these things ahead of time.

Some friends and I were discussing what superpowers we would like to have years ago, and almost all of them picked the ability to fly or become invisible. And that would be pretty cool, I guess. But I always thought teleportation would be great. Say you were being reprimanded by your boss, and you really didn't want to be there. You could just *blip* yourself, and you'd be gone. And what's your boss going to do? He can't tell anyone for fear they would think he was crazy. Plus, you'd never have to drive anywhere again. You could wake up for work in the morning 15 minutes before you had to be there instead of an hour and a half. Think of the amount of time you would save over the course of your life, never having to travel anywhere.

The downside, of course, is someone would eventually find out. And when they did, if you didn't get arrested for teleporting out of a store with a new barbecue grill, you would probably be knocked out and taken away to a government research facility. When you awoke, you would be attached to some sort of machine, or inside some sort of box that would not allow you to teleport yourself away from there. I imagine the government is already working on that sort of thing. You know… just in case. And then they would run tests on you until you were dead.

So that would limit you to picking a superpower that would not really be cause for mass panic on the federal level. Something that could only be used as a parlor trick; to win bets from drunk guys in bars. Something not really useful in everyday life, but a superpower, nonetheless.

Like the ability to turn your teeth clear on command. The ability to make your feet glow. The ability to make pencils magnetic. The ability to rewind VHS tapes by holding them in your hand. The ability to make someone sneeze on command.

And all of the powers like that are really quite lame. Aside from the winning of bets, that is. But my fiancé came up with a unique power that would be really beneficial to anyone, and would not (in most cases) cause any FBI agents to turn an inquisitive eye towards you.

She wants the power to put her hand in her pocket and pull out exact change for whatever it is you need to buy. Just think about that for a second. You'd never have to work again. You'd never have to worry about balancing your checkbook. Hell, you wouldn't even need a bank account. The only problems would surface when you needed to buy big ticket items like a house or a car. You better be wearing big pants on those days. Also, since you had no job – but still had everything you wanted – you would probably be labeled a Drug Dealer. Unless you spent your time traveling the country and giving to charities. Then, you could just go with the story that you had a Rich Uncle who left you more money than you could ever spend, and you are now a professional philanthropist.

Yeah. I could definitely handle that.

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