I am not a well man. I’m not exactly sure what the problem is. I feel broken. In every sense that you could take that statement. Just broken. I might be going insane. I’ll keep you updated.

In addition to that heaping pile of excrement, I think I might be nearing the head of my career crisis. I feel that something needs to change in my job. And that change will probably end up being me leaving. The only thing is, logically, I know everywhere else I could go with an unfinished College Degree is going to have the same amount of bullshit attached to it. And most places that I could go if I did have a College Degree would also be steeped in bullshit.

That, I suppose, is really what I’m looking for as far a job goes. I just want the least amount of bullshit at a job that will still pay a living wage. You wouldn’t think it would be that hard to find, would you? Are my standards too damn high, or is it not just me? I’m betting it’s not me. The fewer companies there are in this world, the tougher competition becomes. Everyone tries to squeeze every last cent out of every single employee. The bullshitters are not treating employees as a commodity anymore… sometimes they treat us as their own personal lab rats or worse… a liability.

The cradle-to-grave job market is dead. Never to return. Companies don’t want to keep you any longer than they have to. Once you have a few years in, they want to dump you. And good freakin’ luck if you are near retirement. Why keep you on until retirement, when they could hire some kid out of college to do your job at half the wage with no benefits?

I’m pretty sure there is a top-secret mission underway at my company to get rid of full-time employees. I have no proof of this, mind you. And if you look at any of their public relations-created persona, they love their employees. We are great. We are the most important part of the company. And if you believe that, you are a naive idiot. We are nothing to them. We are just a number. We are an annoying expense that interferes with the profit margin. We are diseased, rabid dogs to the bullshitters. And they would like to have us shot.

They can say all they want about trying to improve morale, but I know better. They are not that stupid. They know what they are doing. Put on a pretty face for the public. And for those of us who don’t pay enough attention or care what is going on. But in those backrooms of corporate office, the deal is this; make morale as low as possible.

The lower that employee morale falls, the more chance there is that full-timers will quit. The higher the odds are that someone like me will stir the pot more, and get more people riled up. The more people get angry, the more they feel like they are being shit on continually, the more chance there is they will strike back. And when they do; there will be management… more than ready to fire a once-model employee.

The fewer full-timers there are on the payroll, the lower the “wages and benefits” number becomes on their monthly cash-flow analysis reports. Good job, everyone. Stock options all around.

Not that I have rose-coloured glasses on about getting another job. Almost every company in America has become like this. Companies have begun to treat employees as a liability. A necessary evil. And expendable. The only way out is to work for yourself. Or win the lottery. Whatever.

The chances of me doing either are miniscule.