I was watching the local news last night. In Danville, Kentucky there is talk of a city ordinance to ban karaoke in bars and restaurants that serve alcohol.

Well. I’m certainly glad that the city of Danville has solved every single problem in their stupid little town. They must have solved every problem if they are moving onto bad karaoke singers. The news interviewed some of the patrons of this restaurant who came there to enjoy the amateur entertainment every week. It was a family place, they said. Then they showed this kid who was probably about 11 or 12 years old singing some song by The Strokes. And people loved it.

The news sat down with the boy at his table with his mother and asked him, “What would you do if the city of Danville outlawed karaoke?”

This child – who is, in my mind, steeped in complete awesomeness – looked right at the reporter and responded without hesitation, “Well, I’d probably turn to a life of crime.”

This kid should be on Danville’s Board of Commissioners.