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I was watching the local news last night. In Danville, Kentucky there is talk of a city ordinance to ban karaoke in bars and restaurants that serve alcohol.

Well. I’m certainly glad that the city of Danville has solved every single problem in their stupid little town. They must have solved every problem if they are moving onto bad karaoke singers. The news interviewed some of the patrons of this restaurant who came there to enjoy the amateur entertainment every week. It was a family place, they said. Then they showed this kid who was probably about 11 or 12 years old singing some song by The Strokes. And people loved it.

The news sat down with the boy at his table with his mother and asked him, “What would you do if the city of Danville outlawed karaoke?”

This child – who is, in my mind, steeped in complete awesomeness – looked right at the reporter and responded without hesitation, “Well, I’d probably turn to a life of crime.”

This kid should be on Danville’s Board of Commissioners.


I have a sneaking suspicion that all is not what it seems here. This school shooting thing just doesn’t… I dunno… sit right with me. Kucinich lets it be known that he is going to start proceedings to impeach Cheney, and then this thing in Virgina happens. And once again, our Bill of Rights is on the table, and all of the illegal activities that this administration has been doing for years is at the back of our minds. “Please, oh please, can’t someone keep our kids safe on campus?!” we plead, and offer up our freedoms as sacrifice.

I am aghast at the amount of people whose opinions I’ve read on blogs and heard on AM radio today are willing to sacrifice their civil liberties for a false sense of security.

“There ought to be some sort of database,” said one distressed caller to my local radio station. “A place where we can keep information about people who need to be put away.”

That’s right. Chip away further. Now we need a list. A list of those people who are very likely to do one of the bad things. Do you have a proclivity to steal? You’re on a list. Did your uncle do time for cocaine possession? You’re on a list. Do we think you show a fondness for firearms? You’re on a list. Do you know what is contained in the Constitution? You’re on a list. Are you a foreigner? You’re definitely on a list.

So this guy wrote some one-act plays. I’ve read two of them. They are total crap, of course. But beyond that, they are not scary or especially violent. In the McBeef play, there is a mother who grabs a chainsaw, but then the stepfather runs away to safety. Later, he is confronted by his stepson who shoves a cereal bar down his throat. In the second – “Mr. Brownstone” – the three kids are playing casino games, and talking about how their teacher Mr. Brownstone is always mad because it hurts when he poops. Then they inexplicably win the jackpot, and Mr. Brownstone comes up behind them, steals their ticket and gets them kicked out. Fade to black.

Ahem. Well… someone call the freakin’ authorities. He’s obviously disturbed.

What’s more, have none of these people who commented ever seen a Tarantino movie? Or read a Warren Ellis comic? Or read pretty much anything by Chuck Palahniuk? Are these people going on a list? Am I? Are you for reading this?

Now I’m not saying that the kid wasn’t mentally screwed up. He probably was. It sounds like he was a pretty classic paranoid schizophrenic. And my thoughts and prayers are with the families of those innocent victims. I just hope this isn’t going to be used by the administration as an excuse to reign in more free speech.

The bastards already got the Fourth Amendment. Don’t let them have the First.

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If you aren't completely appalled, then you aren't paying attention.

This Month on Tacofish

December 2018
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Public Discourse

The Humans in the Wa… on Detached
Jonathan Woolbright on Preparing For War
Jonathan Woolbright on Amateur Hour
Jonathan Woolbright on Suicide in the Morning
Craig on Unfaithful